I Just Can't Be Sad Right Now

Forget the rollercoasters. I felt like I was in the ocean with all the huge ups and downs I had today. And I'll be honest, it left me a little seasick. The morning started off decent enough, with just some slight choppiness. But as the day wore on, the waves got bigger and rougher, until one last wave pushed me below water and left me struggling for breath. That last wave was toddler bedtime.

I know I'm not the only one who has days like this. Parent or not, life can be rough. It's hard when a day starts out bad because it often feels like you just can't set things right again. Even when there are good and happy moments, it's so easy to slip back into the gloom after that moment passes. "I just can't be happy right now." Why? I've done this before. But why? Why don't we ever turn that around: "I just can't be sad right now." Is it a bad day sprinkled with good moments or a good day scattered with bad moments? I'll let you in on a little secret: it's whatever you want it to be.

I can hear you protesting right now. Work with me here. Every day is filled with moments; some are good, and some are bad. But they're all just moments. The day is based on whichever moments you choose to focus on. I could say today was a bad day because I had to clean skinned knees; I had to fast walk while carrying a child who is way to heavy to be carried with one arm (while pushing a stroller!); I had to skip my yoga and cut my shower short to take care of an emergency; I had to deal with the tears of a frustrated toddler and an overtired baby; and I had to walk out of bedtime because it just... gah! Or I could say today was a good day because I got to get out for a walk with my kids this morning; I got to stop and chat with a good friend and neighbor I don't get to visit with often; said friend sent me home with some freshly picked peaches from her tree; I got to hear my kids' laughter and see their love for each other as we played at the park; I got to enjoy the evening outside while drawing roads, cars, trucks, and clouds with sidewalk chalk with my toddler; and after walking out of bedtime, I got to walk back in, give hugs, and finish bedtime with calm waters.

Like I said, they're just moments that fill a day. After the bad moments pass, we can choose to say, "I just can't be sad right now," because we can hold onto the joy of the good moments throughout the day instead of the gloom of the bad moments. Now let me be clear, bad and hard are not the same. Today was hard. It tested the limits of my patience. It gave my emotions some rigorous exercise. It left me a bit seasick. But it was not a bad day. It gave me too many good memories for me to call it a bad day. I know I won't always choose the good days over the bad. Sometimes those thoughts and emotions just win out. But today—today was a good day.

I Can Do Small Things

Everyone has continuous trials. In some cases they are brought on by our own choices; other times they're just given to us. For some it may be finances. For others it may be addiction. And for others it may be illnesses. Life holds many trials. But we all have that one great trial that helps define us, though sometimes it just feels like it overshadows us.

My life-defining trial is not unique; many people deal with the same things I'm dealing with. Some may even deal with it the same way I do. As I mentioned in my last post, we all have our ups and downs, and that's okay so long as we don't give up. But not giving up can be one of the hardest things we do.

I recently had a down day—a very down day. When I went to bed that night, I didn't want to try getting out of bed the next morning, I didn't want to try giving a lesson to our Primary kids, and I didn't want to try sitting through sacrament meeting—not because I didn't want to go to church, but because I didn't think I could make it through it. 

Morning came, and I got out of bed to get ready, fighting back tears most of the time. I plead in my mind, probably for comfort, not sure exactly what I was saying or asking. And as I tried to calm myself through a deep breath, this scripture came to me: "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" (Philippians 4:13). I almost disregarded it, recalling that this scripture is often applied when people are trying to do big, difficult things, like preparing to serve a mission in a foreign country, not preparing to go to church.

I thought about it again, but this time with a slight change: "I can do all things—small things—through Christ." I realized then that "all things" doesn't mean "great things" or "magnificent things." It means "all things"—even the small ones. Yes, Christ is there to help us when we face great challenges. But He is just as ready to help us when we face small struggles. Most days, going out of the house isn't difficult in the slightest. But that day, such a small thing became a great challenge to me. And Christ was there to help.

I haven't overcome my great life challenge. I doubt I will for a while yet. But I overcame that day, as hard as it was. And I gained a new appreciation for a favorite scripture and found its application in my everyday life. The Lord cares about each of us, all the time—not just when we're fighting our way through our most difficult trials or facing pivotal moments in our lives. He cares about everything we're going through, and He understands perfectly what we're experiencing. He wants to help us get through it. We just need to reach out to Him and realize that He does care, even about the small things.

Through Christ I can do great things. Through Christ I can do small things. Through Christ I can do all things, because He strengthens me.

Don't You Dare Give Up

It always amazes me how easy it is to lose something you worked so hard for and were so excited about. Running is one thing that always comes in waves for me. About a month ago, I got an amazing team together, and we ran the Red Rock Relay in Park City. It was definitely one of the hardest things I've ever done, especially in running. It was awesome, and my team was incredible. And I have not run since.

The same thing can happen with just about anything in our lives, especially with our spirituality or our dedication to spiritual things. Shortly after that run, I got sick. I kept listening to the Ensign articles and posting quotes from them on Facebook for about a week. And then I still listened but didn't post. I wasn't getting on Facebook because I was using my downtime to rest and get better. But then one day, I didn't listen. One day became two. And now here I am, weeks later. I didn't lose my testimony. My faith didn't waver. I didn't stop reading scriptures, praying, or giving lessons to my Primary kids. So what did I lose? Well, I lost that zeal I expressed in my last post--or rather, it ebbed, because I was not being active in my listening, posting, and blogging. It is so important for to be active if you want to keep that zeal. 

As L. Whitney Clayton stated, "Belief and testimony and faith are not passive principles. They do not just happen to us. Belief is something we choose--we hope for it, we work for it, and we sacrifice for it. We will not accidentally come to believe in the Savior and His gospel any more than we will accidentally pray or pay tithing. We actively choose to believe, just like we choose to keep other commandments. . . . Our actions are the evidence of our belief and become the substance of our faith" ("Choose to Believe," Ensign, May 2015).

That's exactly what happened with me, in both areas. I was not active in my running after the race. My shoes didn't crawl into my bed, slip on my feet, and force my legs to pump out run. Likewise, I didn't choose to listen, post, or blog. My phone didn't automatically start up an article, and my keyboard didn't type out a quote on it's own. The gospel requires to actively choose. And for everyone one, that's different. Like I mentioned, I still have my testimony, my faith, and my adorable Primary kids. I just didn't actively choose to keep going with my goal. But you might be struggling with something different. Your parents or your siblings will be struggling with something different from the both of us. And that's okay.

We're not always going to be at the height of our spirituality. The important thing is that we don't give up when we hit those low points. We need to keep trusting in the Lord, and we keep choosing to follow Him. In the oft-quoted story of his car breaking down, Elder Holland illustrated this point: "Don't you give up. . . . Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. . . . You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come" (Jeffrey R. Holland, "An High Priest of Good Things to Come," Ensign, November 1999). Spirituality, dedication, zeal--it all comes in waves. Just keep trying until you make back up on top.

Once you are back up on top, help others to get there too. Life is hard, and we're not meant to go through it alone. It can be easy to frustrated, annoyed, or skeptical of others' choices and actions, especially if we don't quite understand what they're going through. But as Dale G. Renlund said, "We must not only be tolerant while others work on their individual illnesses [weaknesses]; we must also be kind, patient, supportive, and understanding. As God encourages us to keep on trying, He expects us to also allow others the space to do the same, at their own pace" ("Latter-day Saints Keep on Trying," Ensign, May 2015). Others may struggle with things you don't, but that doesn't mean you are better or more spiritual than them. You have your weaknesses too. I know I certainly have mine. We're all working toward the same goal, and we need to help each other get there. 

Don't give up on others. Don't give up on yourself. Even when you're feeling at a low, know that you can accomplish great things. Keep choosing. Stay active. How sad would it be if after that great run I never put my running shoes back on. So I need to rephrase that sentence from the beginning of this post: I have not run since, yet. I went weeks without my zeal, but here I am. Just because you're not where you want to be yet--spiritually, physically, emotionally--doesn't mean you can't get there. So don't you dare give up.

Sharing, Comforting, Strengthening

Because of the work I do, I get to read lots of books before they're actually published. One of those was More Than the Tattooed Mormon by Al Carraway, set to be released before the end of the year. (If you don't know who Al Carraway is, you can check out her blog at http://alfoxshead.blogspot.com/.)

 

While I was reading, I had the thought, I want what she has. A large blog following? No. An adorable smile and killer fashion sense? No. What I want that she has is a thirst for the gospel, a desire to be as close to the Lord as I possibly can. You see, I was raised a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have taken many of the teachings of the gospel for granted. I've strived to be diligent in my daily scripture reading and in my prayers, but they've often been accomplished with a "this is what I've been taught and what I'm supposed to do" mentality. Al reads her scriptures, and anything gospel related, because she wants to learn everything she can. She prays because she has an actual relationship with the Lord, and her prayers are conversations with Him. The last time I remember having that sort of drive and that sort of relationship was when I was in high school. But being blessed with the gospel in my life and knowing of the Savior's love for me, why have I become content in the small trickles I receive each Sunday and the waves that come twice a year at general conference when I have an ocean before of knowledge just waiting for me to dive in? I've realized that there's something new I can learn every day, or at least be reminded of, and I can kept lift others simply by sharing what I've learned. So I'm starting on a new journey. Every day, I'm going to read or listen to the words of the Lord's servants, in addition to normal scripture study, and share with others what stood out to me in each article or talk. And every week, I'm going to post what I've learned.

I decided to start with the most recent general conference, found in the Ensign of May 2015. The short week of starting (Thursday through Sunday) happened to be just right for the women's broadcast of conference. (The quotes were shared on my Facebook page. In the future, I may post them here throughout the week as well.) Sister Esplin's quotes to seemed to be reaffirming the new commitment I made, to seek for truth and to share it. Sharing it doesn't have to be going out and finding someone who isn't a member. Active members, the Lord's disciples can also benefit from shared gospel truths. The other quotes I shared support that, and some of the comments I received are evidence of it. We may never know what comfort, what strength, what answers we may be giving to someone. But the Lord does. He knows who needs comfort, and He knows who can give it. He knows who needs strength and who needs answers, and He knows who can give them. We may never know whose lives we touch. But if we are in tune with the Spirit, listen to His promptings, and allow ourselves to be instruments in His hands, I know that we will be able to help those who need it, even if it is just through our example.

Sometimes we have to wait for the things that we want, even if they're righteous desires. I think I'm getting my PhD in patience. But as Sister Oscarson said, our lives rarely go how we plan them to. We need to realize that the Lord has His own timetable for us and we can't just sit around waiting for Him to get on with it. Easier said than done, I know. But what could be a better plan B than lifting others, giving comfort and strength, and sharing the good news of our Lord and Savior? Sometimes the Lord makes us wait, but we don't need to wait idly.

Thanks, Trent

This Friday started out as a Monday for me; everything that could go wrong went wrong. I was tired and frustrated and I just wanted to go home. Then Trent called me on Skype and we got to chat while I waited for my bus. We talked about school and writing and Blanding accents. We didn't talk long, but it was enough. With my workload in school this semester I won't have a lot of time for updating my blog. But I wanted to give a shout out to my brother overseas and let him know how much he means to me. Thank you, Trent. You really boosted my spirits today.

Game. Set. Match.

Of course. I finally changed my blog to match summer only to realize that it will have to change again soon. But it's done, for now. And that's a small accomplishment in a way, I suppose. 

While I was looking for a new background, I was trying to think of what I would even write about. I'm kind of in a funk right now and I think my brain already went to bed. So, being the procrastinator that I am, I hopped on Facebook to see the kind of funk other people are in. I guess like misery, funk loves company. But instead, I was met by a very profound quote posted by my cousin:

"A person either hates losing enough to change

or he hates changing enough to lose."

-Orrin Woodward

Honestly, I have no idea who Orrin Woodward is. And I'm hoping that doesn't make me look silly. But I really liked this quote. 

I played tennis all through high school and I absolutely loved it. When I was a Junior, I had the chance to go to Region. I lost. And like the emotional teenage girl I was, I threw a fit and got mad at myself, chiding myself for losing and scolding myself because I knew I could do better. I acted like a brat. And about twenty minutes later I was ashamed of myself.  I knew I could have done better. I knew I acted like a child. I knew I couldn't change the past, but I knew I could change myself. So I did.

I became more committed,  practicing on my own and doing my best to not miss any practices. I worked harder, increasing my chances of landing the first serve and controlling my backhands. I focused more, not worrying about who was watching me or what the other players' fans were yelling. And I strived for better self-control, over my physical abilities, my emotions, and my attitude. I changed myself.

The next year I had the chance to go to Region again. Many of the players were incredible opponents. But I made my way up the bracket line and claimed my place to go to State. I was on fire. At State, the games were postponed a few hours because of rain. Eventually we ended up playing on indoor courts. And I lost. But I didn't throw a fit. I didn't chide myself. I was happy. I had never played on an indoor court, but I gave it my best shot. I had made it to State. I had improved my game, my attitude, and myself. I was a better person than who I had been the year before. And that's what really counted. Game. Set. Match.

Such A Slacker

Was my last post really back in November?! Jeesh. What a slacker I've been. We're in the process of moving right now, so most of my attention is focused on packing and trying to finish up sewing and crafting projects. I actually thought to sit down and write up a quick post because Mom  texted me and brought to my attention that I hadn't posted anything new on the ty and i blog. Which I should have been on top of because this last Sunday was our First Anniversary. Yes, I have now been married for one year. And yes, it has been absolutely amazing. So, because of my mother, I have repented of my slothfulness. In addition to writing this short little post I have also written about mine and Tyler's first year together. This post is also kind of short, but it's there. And that's what matters, right? So even though this is short, it has jolted me back into writing (on the blogs). You have my mother to thank. I probably won't post again until after the move (or change the blog background), so have patience and I'll tell you all about it in a few weeks (on a blog without snowflakes). 

Exercise Problems

I love running outside. But there's about 6 inches of snow on the ground and it is freezing! Seriously. Yesterday morning it was only about 12 degrees outside. And let's face it, I don't love running that much. So I decided I would just start working out inside. But this presents a bit of a problem.

I've done P90X in the past and I really like the intensity of it. Mostly because I know that I can slack off a little bit and still not be able to move in the morning. Because of the intensity, it's very important to wear tennis shoes. This is where my problem comes in. Our house (it's really a condo, but I like the sound of house better) is only a couple years old and the carpet is absolutely fantastic! It's so soft, and thick, and comfortable. And new! So I don't want to wear my icky, rough tennis shoes to work out on that carpet. Last week I tried just not wearing tennis shoes, but my feet would hurt when I finished the workout. I'm stubborn, so I still want to work out, but there's no way I'm going to wear those tennis shoes on the carpet.

So now I have questions. Is there something I can wear besides tennis shoes to make my feet not hurt? And if there isn't, what is the best kind of tennis shoe for working out? All my tennis shoes are specifically for running. Tyler suggested I buy a new pair of tennis shoes to just be indoor workout shoes, but I want to make sure I'm getting something good for that. Anyway, there is my exercise problem. A simple problem, but a problem nonetheless. 

Halloween is Coming!

The spooks are coming
The ghouls can be heard
The witches are cackling
But don't say a word!

They'll try to find you
They'll fill you with fright
So dress as one of them
It's Halloween night!


Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. I'm not exactly sure why. Probably because it's one of Mom's favorite holidays and we are just alike. So today, as it is the first day of October, I am pulling out all of my Halloween decorations. All both of them. Yes, that's right. I only have two Halloween decorations. Remember that it wasn't long ago I was still a poor college student. So last year I bought one decoration at Wal-Mart for $1.00 and the other at DI for $0.50. Like I said, I was poor.

But now I'm a housewife! (And I love it!) And the exciting this is that I'm not going to go buy Halloween decorations; I'm going to make them. I learned a long time ago how to make a spider out of a tuna can (I think I have two or three). I'm turning a large old peanut butter jar into a pumpkin to hold the candy. And I'm going to attempt to make a monster wreath out of a hanger and some yarn to hang on the door. And then I'll see what else I can make with what I have. But the decorating and crafting starts today!

Once I'm all finished with everything (and I get my camera charged), I will take pictures to show you how it all turned out. And I'll also use that as my excuse to put pictures of my hogan up on the other blog since I have failed to do so yet. In the meantime, let the decorating and the spooks begin!

Hello, Autumn!

I went to Wal-Mart with Beau yesterday and they had all of their autumn things out. There was a cute stuffed turkey that had written on it's belly, "Gobble 'til you wobble." I got so excited! I don't know why it is, but I absolutely love the changing of the seasons! So today, even if it might be a little bit early, I'm going to get out all of my fall decorations. I don't have a lot (I bought them when I was a poor college student and half my paycheck was going to rent), but I am excited to put them up! I might even get crafty and make a few of my own decorations.

I know this is a short post, but I figured it's better than nothing since I haven't posted for a while. I will strive to be better now that things are finally starting to settle down a little. Who knew married life could be so crazy?

My Brother's Birthday

Well, today is my brother's birthday. I'm at work so I can't call him like I was planning to, but it's slow enough that I can get on here and type him a birthday message.

Happy Birthday, Trent!!! This post is specifically for you. It's hard having you so far away in Texas. The other day was such a nice day that I was wishing you were here so we could go rock climbing. It was so much fun having us both live in Provo for a while. All the games, movies (especially the Garfield holidays), and Battlefront competitions . . . *sigh* I miss it. So many good memories.

I wish I could be there for your birthday. I'll be celebrating it on this end! I love you, Trent. Have the best day ever!!

Modern Movies and Sex Appeal

The new Batman movie is coming out soon so I watched one of the trailers with my coworker. It will be starring Anne Hathaway as Cat Woman, and this sparked up an interesting conversation between my coworker and I. Modern movies and sex appeal.

The conversation started that we were excited for the movie, but we were worried about Anne Hathaway playing Cat Woman. My coworker said that she was probably in it for the sex appeal. I'll be honest, in most modern movies I despise the female leads. They always get in trouble and cause problems for everyone else because they have to be saved in their helplessness. Or they are totally hardened and have become these dark, mysterious women who always find it essential to wear tight, shiny clothing for their line of work. Maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but . . . well . . . no, actually I'm not.

This is perhaps why I enjoy the older movies quite a bit better than the newer movies, especially when it comes to the chick flicks. The female leads are genuine, and they don't rely on their bodies to keep the audience entertained. They're funny, quirky, and just enjoyable to watch. Barbara Eden (I Dream of Jeannie), Elizabeth Montgomery (Bewitched), Lucille Ball (I Love Lucy), and Doris Day are some of my favorite actresses. Why? Because they could actually act. They were spirited, original, and quite simply, amazing. They got where they were because of their talent. Take Lucille Ball, for example. She was absolutely hilarious!! Every episode she had some hair-brained scheme that left the audience in an uproar. She would ad lib and just have fun with it, sometimes leaving the other cast members trying to stay composed and not laugh. These were the shows that left a lasting impression.

Now I ask you (and I asked my coworker this as well), when was the last time you saw a female lead in a modern movie play in the comic relief? And the flirting with the male lead does not count. Usually it's the male lead and the male lead's supporting actor, right? Why? Because today's media is so focused on sex appeal that the role goes to the body, not the talent.

It use to be that people had to be able to sing, dance, or act to be able to get into the movies. Nowadays, they just have to have low standards. And that's how the media portrays how women should be. But it's not. That is why I'm so hesitant of modern movies even when people say it's so good, and why I despise the female leads and refuse let them influence me.

We, as women, are better than that. We should be funny and quirky. We should have talent. We should be ourselves. And we should never fall prey to today's media and rely on our bodies to take us places.

Simply In Love

School and work are always enough to keep me busy, especially since now I'm playing catch-up from when I had my concussion. Lots of stress, lots of work, and little time. So when Sundays come, it truly is a day of rest. I woke up early this morning and since I don't go to church until 1:00 in the afternoon, it's given me plenty of time to just relax and listen to Sunday music, and ponder and reflect.

I already know that I am a terribly lucky girl, but in moments like this I get to look deeper and see just how lucky I really am. Today, among other things, I thought a lot about the amazing young man who wooed me and won my heart. I'm still not sure what I did to deserve such an amazing friend, who will soon be my eternal companion. He always treats me like a princess and just being with him makes everything better. Even when I'm ornery, he sticks it out until he can make me smile. Somehow he always knows exactly the right thing to say, the right thing to do, and the right time to say or do it.

I tried to keep track of all the reasons why I love him and why he is so amazing. But I couldn't keep up with him and I soon lost track. You know the saying, "I couldn't count them if I tried"? Well, I did try, and I couldn't count them. There are just so many, like his smile. He has a couple different smiles, and I love them all. I love to see him smile, especially when he can't help but smile. And all the little things he does for me, like scraping the ice off my car before he leaves for work, or calling me every day. This one I especially find cute. When we first started courting, he told me that he wasn't much of a phone talker and he didn't really like calling people. But now he calls me every day and will talk to me for quite a while. Last night I was home alone and he called me three times just to talk and make sure I didn't get too lonely.

He can always make me laugh and we just have so much fun together. He really is my best friend, and I love being with him. I could go on and on about all the things I love about him, and all the incredible things he does for me. I am so grateful for him. And I am so grateful to him. He means everything to me. And in less than two months, I'll never have to tell him good-bye again; it will just be "see you later."

I'm simply in love. And I have never been happier in all my life.

Good Night, Void

"Early to bed, early to rise
Makes a man healthy and wise."

Usually I'm not too bad when it comes to following this routine. The habit comes from my days on the drill team. And it helps that Tyler has to go to bed early because he works at 6 o' clock in the morning. That leaves me with, well, plenty to do, but missing him too much to really do any of it. Still, I get done what I need to then it's off to bed. Except on occasion I'll have nights like tonight . . .

So, what's so special about the nights I can't sleep? I will tell you. I don't know. If I knew why I couldn't sleep, I would find a way to fix it. Waking up in the middle of the night I don't mind so much. I really enjoy writing within that broken sleep (which is why I started this blog - take not of the title). I enjoy writing anyway, but there's something about having my mind still in the dream mode that makes it fun to write. But this isn't broken sleep. This is no sleep.

I can pull an all-nighter and be just fine until about 3 o' clock the next day. But usually with an all-nighter I'm hanging out with friends or doing something worthwhile. Tonight, though, is not an all-nighter by choice. Actually, I hope it's not an all-nighter at all; I really want to get some sleep before the sun comes up and I'm off to work and school.

No, tonight is different. Tonight is one of those nights where my mind is starting to shut down but my body won't. Tonight is one of those nights I aimlessly wander around the apartment trying to figure out what I can do to fall asleep (and trying not to eat all the cookies my roommate made). Tonight is one of those nights I get so lonely not being able to sleep but wanting to and not having anyone to talk to. I'm not moping, mind you. It's just a little bit frustrating, and I don't know what to do.

So I guess my question is: How? How do I convince my body to fall asleep on these nights that sleep just won't come? How do I convince the sun to sleep in a little bit so I can get some rest when I finally do crash? And how in the world have I been able to maintain the self-control to not call or text Tyler in the middle of the night when I'm feeling lonely? I'll be honest, I'm kind of proud of myself for that one. Anyway, I don't know how many people really read my blog. It's more for me. The writing, it just lets me escape. I guess most of what I write gets sent out into the void. But that's okay. The writing is enough. And it has let me relax enough that I might be able to get to sleep. So I guess I'll finish here and send this off into void. And hopefully sleep will take me. Good night, dear void.

What A Coincidence

Goodness gracious! What have I done?! I let October slip away with no posts and I almost did the same thing with November. This poor, neglected blog. Well, I've got one day left in November and I'm putting on a post. Deathbed repentance.

I've often heard that coincidences are instances in which God chooses to remain anonymous. And there are many coincidences out there. The door just happens to be unlocked on the days I forget my keys. Moose Tracks icecream just happens to be left in my freezer when I'm having a rough day. There just happens to always be someone to talk to when I go to the mailbox. There just happens to be someone who has some connection with Blanding no matter where you go. (This actually happens quite often. In fact, it happened just today.)

But how about this one? It just so happens that the holiday on which we celebrate Jesus Christ's birth falls directly after the holiday on which we give thanks. We have two major holidays to remind us of what truly matters.

Let us start off this Christmas remembering the true reason for this season. And let us make it a memorable Christmas full of peace, joy, and love. Christmas 2011 will never happen again - let's make it worthwhile.

~Tis The Season~

The Best Childhood

Last week we had a Stake Activity and fireside. Casey and I made lots of new friends that we've hung out with this past week, many of them from our ward. And we got free dinner. Really, why would anyone pass that up? You can never plan too far in advance for free food.
For the fireside, Bishop's wife spoke and another girl sang intermittently. It was a beautiful and very spiritual presentation. It was mainly focused on the Atonement as Bishop's wife illustrated it through the story of her conversion. Even though it was lined with hope from the Atonement, the tale itself was a rather woeful one. Bishop's wife and her older sister and grown up with an alcoholic father. Her mother passed away when she was only 11 years old, and her father passed the following year near Christmas time.
Her and her sister went to live with a family that wound up introducing them to the Church (and the two were later baptized). However, they never really felt like they were actually a part of the family, or that they were loved as much as the other children. The story was heartbreaking and brought tears to many in the audience, myself included. Yet, she showed us how much the Atonement had helped her in her life, and the testimony that she bore of it was powerful. I absolutely loved the experience I had listening to that presentation.
However, there was something else that tugged at my heart besides what the speaker had intended. The whole time I was listening to her story, the only thing I wanted to do was run to my parents, give them a hug, and tell them, "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for loving me as much as you do. Thank you so much for all the opportunities you have given me. And most of all, thank you so much for giving me a childhood that I can look back on and smile."
Since I moved up to Provo I've heard of so many people who have had bad childhoods. I guess I never realized how common it was since it had never applied to me. I feel sorrow when people tell me of some of the things that happened in their childhood, or the relationships they had (or still have) with their parents.
I am so thankful for my parents. They helped make my childhood, in my opinion, the best anyone could ever ask for. I never have to look back on my life with regret and sorrow.
So again, I say to my parents, "Thank you. Thank you so much for giving me such a wonderful life!"

Scatter Sunshine

In a world where sorrow ever will be known,
Where are found the needy and the sad and lone,
How much joy and comfort you can all bestow,
If you scatter sunshine everywhere you go.

Slightest actions often meet the sorest needs,
For the world wants daily little kindly deeds.
Oh, what care and sorrow you may help remove,
With your songs and courage, sympathy and love.

When the days are gloomy, sing some happy song;
Meet the world's repining with a courage strong.
Go with faith undaunted through the ills of life;
Scatter smiles and sunshine over its toil and strife.

Scatter sunshine all along your way.
Cheer and bless and brighten every passing day.

Hymn # 230
Written by Lanta Wilson Smith

Go to the Mailbox

A few days ago Candace, Stacy (my roomies) and I were just hanging out in our apartment. Bored. Nothing to do. Wanting to socialize and meet some new friends. But we weren't entirely sure how to go about it. I told them that we needed to go check the mail. In my last apartment, when we wanted to socialize we would sometimes go check the mail. For some reason you can't get from the apartment to the mailbox and back without running into someone to talk to.

So we went to the mailbox. All three of us. At the same time. And we weren't ten yards out the door when we ran into some guys to talk to. They were looking for hotdog buns. We didn't have any, but Stacy had hamburger buns. So we improvised. The guys invited us to eat hotdogs with them. We did. We chatted and laughed and had a good time. Then they invited us to go to a bonfire up in American Fork Canyon. We did. They also told scary stories that made the hair on the back of our necks stand up. But we had a blast! And we made new friends. All from going to check the mail.

When looking for enemies, Go to the Mattresses.
When looking for friends, Go to the Mailbox.

Christmas and Disneyland

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

The happiest place on earth!

I know we're just barely starting summer, but the other day something reminded me of Christmas (and since then I've been going Christmas crazy). I love the Christmas Season. I started thinking about things that bring me that same kind of joy and excitement. Disneyland. There is nothing like Christmas and there is no place like Disneyland. These are probably the two things that make me the happiest.

I started wondering why that was. I'm not greedy or materialistic (at least, I don't think I am). I sat mulling over the kinds of feelings I have when it's Christmas and when I've been to Disneyland, feelings that can't really be duplicated by other things. It was then I realized it wasn't just Christmas or Disneyland alone that make me so happy, but rather the people involved. Christ and my family.

Christ is the center of Christmas, and who can bring more joy than him? It is the Spirit of Christmas, the notion of being Christ-like, that makes the Christmas Season so unique and wonderful. And getting to share that with your family makes it even better.

I have never been to Disneyland without my family. And really, if I didn't have them there to share the experience with me, it would have been completely different. I probably wouldn't have had nearly as much fun. That I am certain of.

It isn't where you go or what you do, but who you are with. The two things that make me the happiest: Christmas and Disneyland - Christ and my family. I'm not greedy or materialistic; I think I've got my priorities right (those two at the top, at least).

I love this gospel and I have been so blessed to have it in my life. I know sometimes I make mistakes and mess up, as do we all. But I also know that the Lord loves us and has given us the opportunity to repent and return unto Him. We can always return. His arms are open, waiting to receive us. He is waiting for His children to come home. I am so thankful to have been raised in a Christ-centered home. I am so thankful to my parents for all they have taught me. I love them so much. I love my family with all my heart, and I am so grateful for the knowledge that I have of the Plan of Salvation, and that I will always be with them. Nothing makes me happier than being with my family.

To my family: Thank you so much for everything you've done for me. I know sometimes I can make things difficult, but you never give up on me. Thank you for all the wonderful memories as I was growing up. I love how close we all are, and I can't imagine my life without even one of you. I love you.

It's the most wonderful time of the year - When the whole world has the Spirit of Christ.
The happiest place on earth - Where you can spend everyday with your family.

Writing Prompt

Just for fun I want to try something. There are a few things I want to blog about, but I can't decide which one I want to do. So instead, I won't do any of them; I do something completely different. And this is where you come in. If you leave a comment with a writing prompt on it, I'll write on that. You can either have it be a general topic, or it can be something you want me to turn into a sort of story. You could even start the writing and end it with... And then I'll continue. It could be anything like, prairie dogs, stars, or what happens when you give a mouse a cookie.
I guess it's mostly just a writing exercise for me. But you and I - I bet we could come up with some pretty good stuff. :)