Good Night, Void

"Early to bed, early to rise
Makes a man healthy and wise."

Usually I'm not too bad when it comes to following this routine. The habit comes from my days on the drill team. And it helps that Tyler has to go to bed early because he works at 6 o' clock in the morning. That leaves me with, well, plenty to do, but missing him too much to really do any of it. Still, I get done what I need to then it's off to bed. Except on occasion I'll have nights like tonight . . .

So, what's so special about the nights I can't sleep? I will tell you. I don't know. If I knew why I couldn't sleep, I would find a way to fix it. Waking up in the middle of the night I don't mind so much. I really enjoy writing within that broken sleep (which is why I started this blog - take not of the title). I enjoy writing anyway, but there's something about having my mind still in the dream mode that makes it fun to write. But this isn't broken sleep. This is no sleep.

I can pull an all-nighter and be just fine until about 3 o' clock the next day. But usually with an all-nighter I'm hanging out with friends or doing something worthwhile. Tonight, though, is not an all-nighter by choice. Actually, I hope it's not an all-nighter at all; I really want to get some sleep before the sun comes up and I'm off to work and school.

No, tonight is different. Tonight is one of those nights where my mind is starting to shut down but my body won't. Tonight is one of those nights I aimlessly wander around the apartment trying to figure out what I can do to fall asleep (and trying not to eat all the cookies my roommate made). Tonight is one of those nights I get so lonely not being able to sleep but wanting to and not having anyone to talk to. I'm not moping, mind you. It's just a little bit frustrating, and I don't know what to do.

So I guess my question is: How? How do I convince my body to fall asleep on these nights that sleep just won't come? How do I convince the sun to sleep in a little bit so I can get some rest when I finally do crash? And how in the world have I been able to maintain the self-control to not call or text Tyler in the middle of the night when I'm feeling lonely? I'll be honest, I'm kind of proud of myself for that one. Anyway, I don't know how many people really read my blog. It's more for me. The writing, it just lets me escape. I guess most of what I write gets sent out into the void. But that's okay. The writing is enough. And it has let me relax enough that I might be able to get to sleep. So I guess I'll finish here and send this off into void. And hopefully sleep will take me. Good night, dear void.