"Sorry, I'm just so tired."
"Sorry, I'm really stressed out right now."
"Sorry, it's been a rough week."
"Sorry, I'm just irritated with my roommates."
"Sorry, I have a short temper."
"Sorry, you were just in the way of my bad mood."
"Sorry, there was no reason for me to act that way towards you, but I'll come up with an excuse anyway to make it alright."
"I'm sorry." I have control of my emotions, my thoughts, and my temper. I will not lash out at someone when they did not do me any wrong. I will not make excuses for my actions in an effort to try and make it right. "Sorry, but I am in control and I will take responsibility, not place the blame on an outside force."
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Tired = Frustration
I've come to discover that I have different levels of tired, most of which I can deal with just fine. The first stage is just being a little tired. I yawn, wish I could take a nap, but don't. This really isn't that big of a deal and it has very little to no effect on my everyday routines.
The second stage is where my mind gets a little foggy and I start making mistakes (such as in grammar and some logic). It often results from staying up later than I ought to working on homework or writing. This is where I'll actually try to take a nap sometime during the day. This stage makes my mind work a little slower and it takes longer for me to process things, but overall, I can still function.
The third stage is an interesting one. This is the stage where it goes beyond being tired. It results from not getting enough sleep for a consecutive number of days. This is the hyper stage. I don't feel the need to take a nap and everything just seems funny to me. I do over-the-top things that I wouldn't normally do. This makes it hard to sit still and focus on anything.
The last stage is tricky. I can jump to this stage without even going through any of the others. I don't often hit this stage, but when I do, it's a hard hit. This can be caused by a number of things. Generally it's when I've been doing active things all day that usually take place in the sun and then I have trouble sleeping that night, plus a few other factors. My body and mind don't have time to recover, and it results in this final stage. Like I said, it doesn't happen very often. But I hate it. My mind starts harboring illogical thoughts and tries to do more thinking than it can handle. Instead of becoming cranky or grumpy, I get quiet. I analyze everything and come up with ridiculous logic that if I were thinking straight would be able to see the faults in it.
This is what creates the frustration. I know that what I am thinking is unreasonable and I know that if I weren't so tired I wouldn't be thinking this way. But for some reason, I keep thinking that way. By the time I'm thinking clearly again, which takes some doing, I look back on it and think, "Smart one, you know that what you were thinking wasn't right." Then I kick myself and move on.
I hit that last stage today. And I can tell you, I had, or rather am having some pretty absurd thoughts. I decided to try writing about it to see if that would help. So far, so good. My mind is becoming more clear and even though I'm still tired, I'm starting to think a little more straight. Next time I'll write about something worth reading. This was more for me that for any of you. But hey, that's how you gain insights, right?
The second stage is where my mind gets a little foggy and I start making mistakes (such as in grammar and some logic). It often results from staying up later than I ought to working on homework or writing. This is where I'll actually try to take a nap sometime during the day. This stage makes my mind work a little slower and it takes longer for me to process things, but overall, I can still function.
The third stage is an interesting one. This is the stage where it goes beyond being tired. It results from not getting enough sleep for a consecutive number of days. This is the hyper stage. I don't feel the need to take a nap and everything just seems funny to me. I do over-the-top things that I wouldn't normally do. This makes it hard to sit still and focus on anything.
The last stage is tricky. I can jump to this stage without even going through any of the others. I don't often hit this stage, but when I do, it's a hard hit. This can be caused by a number of things. Generally it's when I've been doing active things all day that usually take place in the sun and then I have trouble sleeping that night, plus a few other factors. My body and mind don't have time to recover, and it results in this final stage. Like I said, it doesn't happen very often. But I hate it. My mind starts harboring illogical thoughts and tries to do more thinking than it can handle. Instead of becoming cranky or grumpy, I get quiet. I analyze everything and come up with ridiculous logic that if I were thinking straight would be able to see the faults in it.
This is what creates the frustration. I know that what I am thinking is unreasonable and I know that if I weren't so tired I wouldn't be thinking this way. But for some reason, I keep thinking that way. By the time I'm thinking clearly again, which takes some doing, I look back on it and think, "Smart one, you know that what you were thinking wasn't right." Then I kick myself and move on.
I hit that last stage today. And I can tell you, I had, or rather am having some pretty absurd thoughts. I decided to try writing about it to see if that would help. So far, so good. My mind is becoming more clear and even though I'm still tired, I'm starting to think a little more straight. Next time I'll write about something worth reading. This was more for me that for any of you. But hey, that's how you gain insights, right?
Monday, October 5, 2009
A Thought on Nothing
Do you ever get in one of those moods when you, want to write, but your mind is absolutely blank and you don't know what to write about? Or even if you did have something to write about, who would read it? Who would pause, take a moment out of their to read the simple words you have written? Really, at times like these, you could write anything and everything you wanted, and send it out into a large void, not fearing whether anyone will read it or not. Or if it even makes sense. Just get comfortable with a jar of peanut butter and some music and start writing.
Whether you say something comical or profound, it doesn't really matter. It's when you're in these moods that you write more for yourself than your audience. This is when the rough, unpolished you shines through. And it's fun. No editing. No revising. Just attitude. And things are a lot more fun to read when they a bit attitude. Unlike those monotone professors that make you fall asleep in class. "Bueller. Bueller."
It's in these writings that some people might start to question your sanity. They might start to think that you aren't normal. To that I have to say... "So what?" How boring would life if you were normal? Seriously. Think about what your life would be like if all the little quirks you and your family had were taken away. Pretty dull, huh? John Russell stated, "Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting."
So why not be a little abnormal? Why not paint the roses red? Why not celebrate your unbirthdays? And why not just be yourself? "Be yourself; everyone else is taken." (Oscar Wilde). It makes life a bit more interesting.
See what happens when you have nothing to write, but want to write anyway? You end up with paragraphs of "nothing." But sometimes the "nothings" are the best things to write.
Whether you say something comical or profound, it doesn't really matter. It's when you're in these moods that you write more for yourself than your audience. This is when the rough, unpolished you shines through. And it's fun. No editing. No revising. Just attitude. And things are a lot more fun to read when they a bit attitude. Unlike those monotone professors that make you fall asleep in class. "Bueller. Bueller."
It's in these writings that some people might start to question your sanity. They might start to think that you aren't normal. To that I have to say... "So what?" How boring would life if you were normal? Seriously. Think about what your life would be like if all the little quirks you and your family had were taken away. Pretty dull, huh? John Russell stated, "Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting."
So why not be a little abnormal? Why not paint the roses red? Why not celebrate your unbirthdays? And why not just be yourself? "Be yourself; everyone else is taken." (Oscar Wilde). It makes life a bit more interesting.
See what happens when you have nothing to write, but want to write anyway? You end up with paragraphs of "nothing." But sometimes the "nothings" are the best things to write.
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