Senior year. Why is this called the best year of your high school career? I don't get it. Everything ends. Tennis ends. Cross Country ends. Drama. Band. Dancing. Even some or the best friendships end. I guess people love their senior year so much because it means they can finally get out, leave Blanding and forget everything that made them unhappy here.
I just got back from State Drill; my last drill trip ever. And really, I should be in bed, since it's past four o' clock in the morning. Drill. Just one more ended thing.
We received roses from our coaches when we got to our hotel rooms. One of the girls in my room stuck the roses in the fridge overnight. Normally, this would preserve the flowers. But, when we took them out and they thawed, it killed them. Ironic really. In the process of trying to make something last longer, we drastically shortened it, bringing it's end.
There are five completely different songs running through my mind right now. Yet all of them seem to reflect my mood. Am I happy? Sad? I don't know. By this time of night (or rather morning) I'm merely contemplative. Which can sometimes be a bad thing. I oftentimes go too deep in my thinking and it can have negative effects.
Trying to understand things can be rather frustrating. Unlike in schoolwork, life has no set answers. When you don't know the answer, how can you possibly try to understand it? Even if you have found an answer, that doesn't ensure understanding.
Our theme for State Drill this year was centered around Kung Fu Panda. On that trip was the first time I watched it. The crazy old turtle (my favorite character) said something that stuck in my mind. "You have to let go of the illusion of control... You can plant a peach seed. But whether you want it to be an apple tree or a pear tree, it's going to grow up to be a peach tree." That wasn't the exact quote, but it was something like that.
Now I wish I had something profound to say to sum all this up. That would be cool. But I don't. Simply that you cannot understand or control everything, and many good things must end. It sucks, and I still have a hard time dealing with that, but it's true. Things happen. You have to let go of the illusion of control...
1 comment:
It's also a time for new beginnings! A time to start over, or for the first time. To take time and collect yourself and figure out some direction.
Even though you have to let go, you also have to hold on to some new thing, until the time comes to let it go and find another new thing. It's life.
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