Hollow

Hollow. The cold, black feeling of being hallow. The thing is, I saw it coming from a mile away. I've been waiting for it. I knew avoiding it wouldn't be possible, but I tried to delay it anyway. And now that it's come I'm filled with that hollowness.

It's strange really. You never really think about all the emotions you can feel and how they're different. Becoming hard and becoming numb are probably the closest things that come to it, though they really are nothing alike if you look closely.

Being hollow sort of mixes good emotions with bad ones. All the knots and frustration are gone, and you don't feel angry at all. Yet, you don't feel happy either. Not feeling happy or sad is kind of how it relates to being numb. But it's different because you do feel something, whereas being numb all emotion is lost to you. Being hollow you feel sort of empty..... vast inside.... lost......

It's easy to laugh and it's easy to cry. And it's very easy to do both at the same time. But you never feel those emotions that bring on these actions. It's as though someone has taken a spoon and carved out your insides like a pumpkin. You can feel the pain as it's scraped against your sides and bones. That awful, awful pain. The last thing removed is your heart. As soon as this is gone, all pain dissolves, leaving you an empty shell. A shadow of your former self. Yet you can hide it well enough that people around you think you're still whole. If they cared to look closer they could easily see through you and realize that somethings not right. But no need to worry about that....

You're standing in a black mist in unknown surroundings. You're not scared, but you still don't know what to do. There's no one there to help you or give you guidance. You're on your own in this one. You stand on the edge and look down. You see nothing. Do you jump? Or do you turn around and try to go back? Do you fall on your knees and cry? Or do you find the strength to push yourself one more step? Does it even matter? Can you feel what matters to you anymore?

Lost.

Black.

Hollow.